AN ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO CURATING CONSENT IN ALL (QUEER) NUDIST SPACES
by GO NAQED - 5/5/2023
Nudism, like yoga, is a practice. a practice that is often first explored alone or with your partner(s), sometimes ameliorated in the company of friends, and refined in public spaces. The first time I ever felt entirely comfortable practicing yoga was in the nude, in a gay men's class. I can't say if it was the shared queerness, the unencumbered freedom of movement while naked, or the easy and emotive instructional style of our nude guide @NudeGuyYoga in the practice but that first class (nearly 20 years ago) change my view of Nudism in a truly shame-free space.
Nudism has a long history of philosophies and origin stories. Queer nudism has been part of queerness since Cain killed Abel, or since the beginning of the species. But that's another blog entirely. Queers have always gotten naked together because – human history of queerphobia & genocide – we just do. Queer Naturism, unlike heteronormative Nudism, is entirely sex-positive. And nudism teaches us to shed all shame, and we believe that includes your beautiful, kinky, furry, vanilla, weirdly different sex lives. Nudism also teaches us the value and importance of consent.
I am always learning and growing as a person and recognize that, sometimes, I'm an asshole, it's because I am so protective of this community. I say that to explain how my views on naturism and nudism have evolved. I wanted so desperately to be viewed as a "legitimate" nudist/naturist group, without recognizing the difference between our Queer culture and heteronormative nudism. Shame is still a part of so many of those organizations, and they fail to recognize it. That shame exists around sexual expression and behavior in nudist spaces, this gets particularly homophobic when Queer public displays of affection as innocent as kissing are treated as a sexual behaviors by individuals, groups, and organizations in "mainstream" (heteronormative) nudism. This constant shaming of anything and everything sexual in so many nudist circles is problematic, but that's another blog entry. I don't want to be a part of that.
Being sex-positive doesn't mean we can't agree to a set of expectations that make Queer nudist spaces welcoming for everyone. One of our fundamental beliefs is that NUDISM IS FOR EVERYONE. There are so many identities and belief systems and genders and flavors of mountain dew that the only way we can truly respect and honor everyone is to set universal expectations that welcome, inform, and empower all. That's where we came up with: THE NUDIE CODE
Like the hanky code but for nudie events. Moving forward all events will have a simple category nomenclature to allow participants to decide what level of nudity & sexuality they're comfortable with, we recognize that sexuality is part of our culture and that informed & express consent is always required. We also recognize that a social connection is required to build community and we ask that you help create that space. There's room for all in our community.
THE NUDIE CODE
Social Nudity at its purest and Queerest - like Ali & Eve or Adam & Steve in the garden before anyone told them they were naked. This is how we started and why we created this community together, it's just friends hanging in the nude.
These NONSEXUAL events are ideal for first timers, for those looking to explore nude Queer Community without the pressures of a sexual encounter, or for those uncomfortable with sexual expression. It's also a refreshing space to be nude without the expectation of sex. Ideal date night for many Queers who are looking to explore low pressure Queer Nudism.
The majority of our events will continue to be social GREEN LEAF events.
Queer nudism & connection can be and often is SENSUAL CONSENSUAL. We want to create safe spaces for social nudism with a mild, always consensual, flirty, hands-on connection, just like the beach ;) if you want more, head to the dunes (aka their place). Kiss, cuddle, JO, light oral, but no penetrative sex.
This is where Queer Nudism recognizes what goes on, and other folks still pretend it doesn't happen. We're not ashamed of our sexuality, be we do want consent. Any contact must be consensual, this is a slow burn, don't rush it. savor the moment and enjoy the open expression of Queer expression at its finest. But that doesn't mean the social can't continue, it will. We're capable of sensual and social simultaneously. We welcome everyone who consents to witnessing a little play, even if you don't want to participate, but this isn't a peep-show, buster.
Queers have always been forced underground to connect. Sharing our love in public was taboo. A kiss, holding hands, being Queer in public was dangerous, is dangerous. So we went underground, but fuck it, no shame. So let's celebrate Queer bodies & Queer love in a SOCIAL SEXUAL nude space.
My first porn mag had red stars over all the "naughty bits" because somehow that made it ok. Anything goes, as long as it's consensual. The venue always appreciates cleaning up after yourself. If you make a connection, enjoy expressing that in this consensual sex-positive space. That doesn't mean you have to participate. This is still a nude space and a social event. Enjoy the music, enjoy the conversation, enjoy Queer bodies and all the beautiful things we can do together naked, without judgement, without shame.
IT'S THAT SIMPLE.
An event can be entirely GREEN LEAF or progress from GREEN LEAF to YELLOW LIGHT after a given time. Spaces can be designated GREEN LEAF, RED STAR, or YELLOW LIGHT depending on the aim of the event, some camping venues have large portions of the property labeled for consensual sexual expression. You can even choose to wear a GREEN LEAF wristband to indicate you're only here for nudity, but support everyone else's choices. Sex is part of Queer Culture, we can't change that and we shouldn't. But we can create consensual boundaries that allow those who attend the opportunity to make informed decisions.
I've been in nude spaces of all varieties with people of all backgrounds. I've been in spaces where I felt uncomfortable because of someone else's behavior, in spaces where I had to remind people where they were, and I've been that person who needs reminding. We're human. We're emotional creatures, we're flawed and inconsistent, and we're sexual beings. Recognizing our nature helps understand our needs. Because naturism is truly. a return to nature we need to learn how to incorporate all of human nature into naturism, even sexual expression.
I love all the body positivity around the #normalizenudity crowd. That needs to extend to sexual expression as well. We can be legitimately focused on Queer Nudism and its sexual expression. The key is consent. The key has always been consent, but in a capitalist society consent is a difficult topic, but that's yet another blog entry.